Phew!
That's about all I have to say after my first solo adventure flying with my two littles. I just got back a couple of weeks ago, and last night some mama friends and I spent part of the evening swapping hilarious nightmare stories about traveling with our kids. It is AMAZING what parents can do in tough situations, right? I am so grateful for their stories, and I thought I'd write a post sharing what I learned from my trip.
The kids and I made sort of last minute plans to fly down to Escondido, CA to join my parents, who were flying to southern California from Virginia to use a timeshare thing that I don't understand much about. Derek thought that me trying to wrangle a potty-training 2 1/2 year old with a not-yet-walking 10 month old maybe wasn't the best move, but my parents had an extra room in their timeshare condo and I was feeling pretty over the cold and dark of Alaska January, so we went for it!
And of course I had a Plan with a capital P:
We got Autumn her own seat so that I didn't have to hold her/keep her in a carrier the whole time while also trying to get Isaac not to run down the aisle (fyi - it ended up being Autumn who I found five rows up when a man asked, "Ma'am? Is this your kid crawling up here?" Yah. She's a mover.).
I was bringing two Cosco Scenera Next carseats which are basically the greatest travel carseat ever because they weigh 8 lbs or something super light and they can be forward or rear-facing. One of our carseats needed to come on the plane for Autumn. Amazingly, it fit (snugly!) into one side of my double stroller and Autumn could be strapped into it as we rolled around the airport. The other carseat would get checked in a roller carseat travel bag that also had enough space for diapers, water wings and other lightweight baby stuff.
I was only checking one other duffel bag for the three of us (thank you travel carseat bag!)
I brought my MacLaren double stroller so that both kids had a means of "being carried" through the airport. It isn't the lightest or the easiest to open or close, but it folds down super small which makes it great for rental cars with all the extra luggage that needs to go in the trunk, too.
I packed extra outfits for everyone, including myself, in my carry-on bag.
I had A LOT of snacks. Like enough for several days.
I downloaded a bunch of Isaac's favorite shows and one whole movie onto his tablet (he has a Kids Fire HD 8, I think). We had the right headphones this time, too.
I had a "leash" for Isaac if he wanted to walk instead of be in the stroller. It's the kind that you put around your wrist and the kids' wrist, except I attached Isaac's end to his backpack instead.
Derek would park and come in with me, helping with the two bags to be checked. One of my parents would be at the other end at baggage claim to help bring bags out to the car.
If a stranger or flight attendant offered help, I would probably say 'yes'.
I was Ready. Deep breath...
So the first fun thing that happened was the stroller broke, probably in the truck on the way to the airport. A connecting piece by the bottom left wheel, a rod of some sort that held two or three frame pieces together, just snapped, causing the frame pieces to want to pull apart from each other. And this is nothing against the MacLaren; we got this stroller used and it had been well loved. In any case, now the left side of the stroller wouldn't stay open without a lot of pressure from your left arm while pushing it. And I learned the fun way when we got off the plane for our connection in Seattle that opening it up was near impossible. But I did it! :) Boy that was fun.
That's 3 fun's in one paragraph. Hm.
The second obstacle was Isaac's mood on the first flight. Now, this kid was exhausted (we were up by 4:30am), but he was also really really excited to see his grandma and pop pop. I think his excitement overrode any part of his brain that was capable of understanding that daddy wasn't coming with us. I mean, he knew Derek was staying behind, but I don't think he really understood what that meant. At least not until we were barreling down the runway about to lift into the air. THAT is the moment that Isaac had his epiphany and just lost.his.sh--stuff.
For the next hour (or was it two?) Isaac was inconsolable about his dad not being with us. He kept wailing, "Make the plane go down! Make it go back to the Earth! I NEED MY DADDY! Pleeeeease mommy. Pleeeeeease." No rewards offered seemed to help, cuddling was shoved away, books, tv, games...nothing was working. Poor Isaac. Food was thrown, little feet sent powerful kicks out into the world (I don't know how many times I apologized to the woman in front of us), and we waged a small war over his seatbelt. Two different flight attendants came by. They had offered to help earlier, but at this point they just sort of patted my shoulder reassuringly and said, "Sorry mama" or "You're going to be okay." At some point Isaac tried to take things out on Autumn who (thank the airplane gods!) had been asleep for the majority of those first two hours. Autumn woke up and started crying, and I finally just lost it. I was so embarrassed, so tired, and so frustrated. I "got serious." I yelled. It wasn't one of my best moments. Anyway, Isaac ended up restrained in Autumn's carseat.
So that's my first and biggest learning from the trip - have a way to keep the toddler restrained. I hated doing it. But he did calm down. And for the second flight and for both return flights, just the thought of having to go into the carseat really helped Isaac to make better choices about his behavior and volume. And I felt like I had a means to get things under control. It's not like I want to control my kid all the time, but an airplane is this unique place. NO ONE has a choice about where they are. They can't just move away from a screaming, kicking child like they might at a park. I can't take my crying, screaming kid outside like I might at a restaurant. It's a tough situation for sure, so I think the carseat helped us both to make the best of it. That was really unexpected.
Another learning moment - I didn't give myself enough time. I thought I had plenty (we parked almost exactly 2 hours before take off), but with the broken stroller and the craziness of undoing everything at security, I got to the gate just as we were boarding. I ran the kids to the bathroom, but Isaac insisted that he go potty on the airplane, "like Jimmy in my airplane book, mommy". He was wearing a pull-up so I wasn't that concerned, but I didn't end up changing Autumn. Ugh. She sat in a very wet diaper for that flight to Seattle and we BARELY had time to change her before our next flight because ... well, that's another story. So in the future, I would give myself 2 hours in the airport which means allocating 20 minutes at least to park, unload, and walk/elevator/walk/elevator to get to the check in area.
By the way, Isaac did go potty on the plane before we even took off, and missed most of the toilet, soaking his pants. It's okay. I had extras for everybody, remember?
So let's talk about that leash that I brought. At first Isaac thought it was really cool. We'd been reading books about traveling and airports and airplanes to prepare him for all the unique aspects like seatbelts or not running away from mommy. He talked like he understood a lot of this, but in practice it was much harder. There is just so much to see and touch at an airport, and Isaac had a tough time sticking close to me so I did end up putting the bracelet on my wrist at some point. He was good with it in the Anchorage airport. But the next time I tried to use it (actually on the return flight during our layover in Seattle) Isaac just went bonkers and tried to run away and ended up falling pretty hard when the leash went taut. He even cut his lip a little bit. I felt like a bad mom, even though I knew that I needed to do everything in my power to keep Isaac safe, including keeping us connected through this "leash", but even so...I'm not sure I'll use it again. We'll see.
The last learning experience (that's nicer than "negative experience", isn't it?) that I'll tell you about happened on our first morning at the condo, so not technically while we were on the go. I still think it's worth mentioning. Isaac woke up with an earache. I thought it might have just been from flying. He hasn't had one ear infection in his whole life. By lunch he was moaning a bit and saying both ears hurt. I'm glad we found an urgent care clinic. I'm glad we waited for over an hour. It was worth it to find out that he had a double ear infection and he needed antibiotics. Poor guy. The pain in his ears couldn't have helped those flights down, you know? I'm so glad I believed him right away. We avoided swimming and his ears were fine by the time we had to fly back.
Okay so now let's talk about which parts of the original Plan went well because that's important, too. The snacks really made a difference. The airline had cut back on food service on our routes, so having food for both kids helped with their crankiness and boredom. The shows and movie on Isaac's tablet also really helped, even if he just watched for 20 minutes. He could kind of let go of some of his energy and was then more cheerful when he turned back to me to play "I Spy" or to share a snack. The double stroller was crucial. The kids mostly sat in it as we moved through the airport and it was especially helpful in the bathroom so that Isaac didn't run away while Autumn and I were busy, and in the security line while I showed documents, got stuff up on the conveyer belt, etc. Autumn having her own seat was also amazing. My family can't do this all the time because of cost, but we had the miles this time and it was totally worth it.
A few more lessons learned:
My carry-on backpack was too big and too heavy. I chose it because it fit my work computer in its regular travel briefcase, but I opted to buy a smaller case for my next trip so that I can bring a smaller backpack.
I actually think I packed too many snacks. This added to the extra weight in the backpack.
M'n'M's make excellent, long-lasting bribes. They are small and lightweight and even one is a real treat to a toddler.
Flight attendants are amazing (I already knew this, but the sentiment was reinforced)
I should have made sure we were not over the wing on each flight. I thought Isaac wouldn't want to look out the window much with his sister's car seat in the way, but he was willing to dodge and weave around it and he was bummed on one of the flights when all he could see was metal.
I will only bring enough diapers and wipes to get me through the flight and one night next time (rather than a whole sleeve of them). I can buy them at any store at our destination, and even though they're lightweight, they take up a lot of space.
I'm glad I brought water bottles for all three of us. I used Autumn's water to make her bottles and added crystal light to Isaac's to entice him to stay hydrated (which he did!).
We were only in Escondido for five days, but they were so lovely. We went to the famous Zoo (I highly recommend the skyfari...it's free and a cool way to see the zoo!), built sandcastles at Oceanside Beach, and ate delicious food in Old Town San Diego. We all needed the sunshine and the warmth and the time with my parents. And when it was time to return, I needed a new stroller.
At Target I had two options: a $25 single umbrella stroller or a much (much) more expensive front-and-back double stroller that could have two real seats or a "sit and stand" set up. With the first choice, I would save money and could take my time researching the double stroller I really wanted once I was back in Chugiak. The plan would be to have Isaac in the umbrella stroller and Autumn in the (amazing!) Tula Lite travel carrier that I bring everywhere, just in case. The umbrella stroller was lightweight, easy to open and fold up, and I felt no anxiety about it possibly breaking because of its cost. I would just have to figure out how to bring Autumn's carseat with us through the airport. It seemed like the logical choice.
So why did I go with the Baby Trend Sit 'N Stand Double Stroller? Well, first of all, because it looks badass. And it actually was super easy to fold up and open up. And each kid gets a seat with tray AND the kid in the back is slightly elevated so their view isn't blocked all the time. Also, Autumn's carseat fit in the front so I wouldn't have to figure out yet another thing to schlep through the airport. Yes, it was heavy and yes, it was expensive, but it was really cool and met a lot of my needs and it was there, just waiting for me to take it home. It made traveling through the airport a breeze because the kids were comfortable and I wasn't stressed about getting it all stowed away before we got on the plane. We've already used it a bunch since we've been home, even on the (packed) snow. I am SO glad that I made the purchase. Phew.
That's how I started this post, eh? With a hefty sigh of relief.
My friend recently pointed out that very few of us find airplane travel comfortable. It is exciting in some ways, and it helps us to see new places and favorite faces, but it's tiring, and crowded, and the seats are small and now we're all masked all the time which sucks (but I get it!). Kids just vocalize a lot of what we're thinking, she said. And she's right. When I look at my kids' behavior from that point of view - the excitement, the running around, the crying and whining, the touching EVERYTHING - I get it. I, too, am psyched to fly. I, too, feel cramped and want to run around when I get off the plane. I get hungry, need to pee when the seatbelt sign is on, wish I could just watch my movie without ear buds.
But I'm an adult. So when my kids act, well, normal about traveling, I have to remember that. I have to be strong, as prepared as I can be, and, above all, calm. I need to anticipate that 18 things will go wrong before we've landed, deal with them as they come, and make sure my kids see my calm through it all because they might not get it, but they will feel anxious and upset if I show that I am. They are sponges that way, eh? And they may not know that everything will turn out alright, but I do. I know that no matter what goes wrong, we'll still get there, we'll be together, and, most importantly, we'll get to hug grandma and pop pop!
For any questions about traveling with kids or to add your own "funny" stories and travel tips, please post in the comments and feel free to get in touch!
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